Chicken pox and control.

So last week we had chicken pox in our household. I have been dreading the day when spots appeared on my children and to be honest, every dot and rash that has been on their body ever - I always wonder if it is chicken pox. Well, this time it was! And the week that Ben was away as well!

It was only really bad for each twin for two days (and so far Athol has not caught it.....), but for those days it was bad. Enough to watch a lot of back to back television and for me to allow them to sleep in my bed! The night seemed to be the worse time. For several late evenings I helplessly tried to placate and medicate Hope as she danced around the lounge semi-clothed, hysterical with itching. She would fall asleep, exhausted in my arms, only to twitch herself awake minutes later. I tried to put her back to bed  - but the only place she would sleep at all was next to me (which is rather nice as it makes one feel wanted!).

Laying next to a sleeping, but constantly twitching, child  reminded me of Psalm 131 -

God, I’m not trying to rule the roost,

    I don’t want to be king of the mountain.

I haven’t meddled where I have no business

    or fantasized grandiose plans.

I’ve kept my feet on the ground,

    I’ve cultivated a quiet heart.

Like a baby content in its mother’s arms,

    my soul is a baby content.

Wait, Israel, for God. Wait with hope.

    Hope now; hope always!

Our culture is all about becoming independent, self sufficient, in control. In fact most of our lives are spent striving for this, or trying to create a picture of ourselves for other people that we are in fact doing these things. I constantly try and be in control of situations or relationships  - with chicken pox I convinced myself that the correct combination of amusement, medication and patient soothing would be what was needed. In fact this only went so far, in the end, what Hope wanted was to lay beside me, even though she was still itching, and this quieted her.

We try every solution before we talk to God about our problems. We plan every step before we commit our future into His hands. What God actually wants is for us to be resting on Him like a baby or child. Content to talk to Him, wait on Him, be quiet before Him. He's teaching me to be a resting (perhaps twitching with the cares of life!) child, praying through the chaos of life.